Shelf Life with Emma Darragh: 'I was always impatient to become a woman'

The Thanks for Having Me author shares her book and beauty memories, including why putting on make-up "connects me to countless other women throughout time and around the world."

Welcome to a new series called Shelf Life, in which I ask people I admire about their book and beauty memories.

First up: Emma Darragh. Emma spends most of her time on Gadigal and Dharawal Lands. She holds a PhD in Creative Writing from the University of Wollongong, where she works as a sessional academic. Her writing has appeared in numerous Australian publications, including Cordite, Westerly, Meniscus, TEXT, and The Big Issue Fiction Edition. Emma’s debut novel-in-stories, Thanks for Having Me, is published by JOAN.

I finished reading Thanks for Having Me a couple of weeks ago, and it floored me: the more I read, the realer the characters felt, and the more clever, rewarding easter eggs I discovered (it’s told in a series of non-chronological stories). Mary Anne, Vivian, and Evie are three generations of women from the same family. It’s about generational consequences, motherhood, what we inherit and what we can resist, the ways in which place (it’s set in Wollongong) and family shape us. Mary Anne, Vivian, and Evie will stay with me for a long time.

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Books

Where did you get your love of reading? 

My dad! He would lie on the bedroom floor and invent stories starring my sisters and me. We were “The Wollongong Adventurers” and we would travel far and wide with our magical powers. I also remember him coming to my primary school and being the parent volunteer who did reading with kids out in the hallway during class time.

Also influential were my primary school teachers, and my favourite high school English teacher, Mrs Young.

What’s a book that got you through a tough time, or a big life change? 

I read a lot of crime fiction when my kids were babies… and now I find it the ultimate comfort read when I’m stressed.

What’s your favourite book from the past year? What was your favourite book 10 years ago? And as a child? Are there any overlaps or contrasts in those favourites? 

1. Ten years ago it was Room by Emma Donoghue or Donna Tartt's The Little Friend.

2. As a child I loved RL Stine’s Goosebumps series and Enid Blyton’s The Naughtiest Girl in the School.

3. I’ve read so many good books over the past year but the first that comes to mind is Edwina Preston’s Bad Art Mother. It’s incredibly crafted and intelligent, but so utterly compelling and moving. It’s one of those books you message your friends about as soon as you read a particularly amazing section.

I'm all about the narrative voice and love books with a child's perspective. I like things that are dark but flecked with warmth and humour as all of those favourites are.

Tell me about a book you love to gift. 

I think Dirt Town by Hayley Scrivenor is my most gifted book. It ticks a lot of boxes for me because it’s such a good crime novel but it’s also quite literary and beautifully written. It’s dark and compelling but it’s got so much warmth, heart, and humour as well.  

Describe your ideal book/genre in three words. 

Short story cycles (or novels-in-stories)!

Do you read books more than once? 

If I’m teaching or writing about a book, I’ll read it countless times. When I’m teaching, I will often listen to the audiobook version of a text to refresh my memory and to encounter the text in a new way. John Steinbeck’s The Grapes of Wrath, read by Richard Armitage, is one I listen to and re-read yearly. Sometimes, purely for leisure, I’ll listen to an audiobook but then I’ll have to read a physical copy because I want to see how it’s working on the page.

Who’s an author you’ll always read? 

Too many! My tastes sway very North American… Sheila Heti, Elizabeth Strout, Lorrie Moore, Alice Munro, Margaret Atwood… but Kate Atkinson is a new favourite! And I buy every Joyce Carol Oates book but can’t keep up with her.

Is there a book you’re most looking forward to reading this year? It could be a new release, an old favourite, or one languishing on your TBR. 

Rumour has it that Hayley Scrivenor has a new book coming out (I am clearly obsessed with Dirt Town) but I’ve also got the latest Lorrie Moore and the forthcoming Elizabeth Strout on my list as well.

Beauty 

Which beauty product have you used longest? Why have you stuck with it, and how did you discover it? 

Simple Sorbolene cream. My mother only used that and had lovely skin. The scent of it reminds me of her. 

What made you curious about beauty? 

As a little girl, I was always impatient to become a woman and makeup seemed to be an essential ritual in the maturation process. And all those gorgeous little vials and bottles looked like treasure. As I’ve grown older, and especially after suffering from Bell’s Palsy, I’ve been more interested in the politics of beauty.

What do you like most about it? 

Putting on makeup feels like getting into character. I like the ritual of the transformation of one version of myself to another, and the way this ritual connects me to countless other women throughout time and around the world. And then, at the end of the day, there is nothing like the feeling of having a clean face, of retreating into the more private version of myself.

 How would you describe your approach to beauty? 

Beauty is about being the best version of yourself, whatever that means to you. Though it’s impossible, I like the idea of trying to express outwardly what you are on the inside. I don’t think it should be about looking younger or looking like everyone else.

Which area of beauty do you love most, and why?

I appreciate both the sense of ritual and the reliability of structure that skincare and makeup bring to my days. 

What do you find difficult or unsavoury about beauty culture? 

There is a lot I find problematic about beauty culture. The amount of time, money, and energy our culture expects women, and even young girls, to spend on our appearance really grinds my gears. And while there is more diversity in beauty advertising, there is a same-sameyness in the looks that are popular: fake lashes, filler, lots of contouring.

There is a great interview with Zadie Smith where she talks about the contouring trend and says she would limit her young daughter to spending 15 minutes in front of the mirror, explaining that “you are wasting your time, your brother is not going to waste any time doing this.”

Which beauty product holds the most nostalgia for you?

In my book, I draw on my memories of Red Earth. And nothing was as exciting as a three-pack of Lip Smackers. Oh, and for my 12th birthday in 1995 I got these gold plated YSL blush and eyeshadow compacts in the most 90s colours ever! I can still smell the powder and picture them in my mind so vividly.

Describe a recent beauty memory you’ll hold onto. 

Doing makeup beside my 17-year-old daughter as we got ready to go see Melanie Martinez back in January. We were listening to music and screwing up our winged eyeliner together and it was just a really wholesome mother-daughter experience.

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Emma was so generous with her time and answers that I’ll be back with the rest of this Q&A next week. I hope you love this chat - and Thanks For Having Me - just as much as I do.

I’ve already got a bunch of excellent interviewees lined up for future Shelf Life instalments, but please - tell me who you’d love to hear share their book and beauty memories!

Until next time,

Britt